1. Focus on Behaviors, Not Personalities
When you’re presented with a stressful situation, it can be very easy to welcome things to center stage that really shouldn’t be there.
For instance, a simple misunderstanding with a family member or even a co-worker can very quickly escalate into something more. The reason behind this is that you tend to expect certain behaviors from people based on their personalities. And while most of these expectations are reinforced, it’s a little unfair to both of you.
You may start to automatically expect certain behaviors from people before they ever deliver. But people constantly change and grow, and we must give them space to do so.
Instead of assuming certain things, try to remain focused on the actual behavior. In other words, look at the facts. Acknowledge the personality, but don’t base all your feelings on personality alone.
2. Set Boundaries
It’s important not only to establish healthy boundaries in your relationships but also in your stress management strategies.
Experiencing conflict is a part of life, but it doesn’t mean you have to draw blood each time. In short, you need to make a point to respect and require respect during times of stress. Having these healthy boundaries will give strength to your stress management strategies and enable them to be successful.
Of course, you will argue and disagree at home, work, and in your social life. It’s normal not to have the same perspective as every other person in your life. In fact, this is what makes us each unique.
What makes your life peaceful, though, is being able to stand firm in your own beliefs while acknowledging others’ point of view as well.
3. Address the Core Problem
When conflict occurs, it’s not uncommon to hone in on about a hundred other things besides the actual issue at hand. You might be caught off guard by how the other person behaves or presents themselves. Something as simple as their tone or facial expression could eat away at you.
These superficial expressions can be very distracting and keep your focus off of the real issue. You might be tempted to replay the situation in your mind over and over.
- Why did he say it like that?
- What did she really mean?
Questions like this can disrupt your calm and create a whirlwind of havoc in your thoughts. Remember, to keep peace in your life, it’s important to keep molehills as molehills instead of letting them develop into mountains.
Make a point to see past the minor details of the conflict and onto the core problem. Not only will this choice help you resolve the conflict faster, it will keep the minor offenses from becoming larger than necessary.
The Take Home Message
It can be difficult to know how to create more peace in your life. It doesn’t have to remain a mystery, though. Nor is it an unattainable goal. I’d love to help you reclaim the peace in your life through positive stress management strategies.
If you’re having trouble managing conflict and maintaining a positive connection with the people around you, then please reach out to me. Together, we can tackle any negative forces that prevent peace in your life.