How to Navigate the Holidays With a New Romantic Partner

Evaluate Where You Are

A first step in figuring out how to navigate the holidays is to honestly take a look at the state of your relationship. How long have you been together? How much time do you spend together outside of work and other commitments?

Consider how enmeshed you’ve become in each other’s lives already. While the pandemic may affect some of these factors, think about how integrated your social lives have become with each other and your respective groups of friends.

What Are You Comfortable With?

We often forget to listen to our instincts. But slow down enough to pay attention to yours. What are you truly comfortable with? Would you enjoy having your new partner with you when you visit your family?

If you feel like it’s just not quite the right time, that’s okay. Your partner should understand this. Or maybe you could include them in a small family gathering but not the main holiday celebration. If the thought of having your new partner there stresses you out, it may be best to do family things on your own.

Are There Kids Involved?

If either or both of you have children, it’s even more crucial to take holiday involvement slow. Hopefully, you’ve already been dating for at least six months before introducing your kids to your new love interest. And once you have introduced them, it should continue to be a gradual process of integration.

When kids are involved, the holidays should be about them. They probably don’t want to feel pushed aside by mom or dad’s new beau or spend the holiday with your new partner’s family whom they don’t know. That can cause resentment and hurt feelings.

While you may be eager to pull your new romantic partner into your family circle, your kids may need you to take things more slowly. If you don’t, it can create anxiety and confusion for them.

Gift Exchanges

Gifts can be tricky, no matter what relationship you’re talking about. You may be anxious about choosing something that doesn’t seem special enough. Or, you worry about giving a gift that may seem too special and not quite appropriate yet.

Think about your new partner’s interests and lifestyle. Consider selecting a nice item that is meaningful but doesn’t exude expectations of lifetime commitment.

Seek Out a New Holiday Experience

If you’re not sure how and when to involve a new romantic partner in your typical festivities, think about trying something new for just the two of you to do. Again, the pandemic may make this more complicated.

Start simple, for example, by taking a tour of holiday lights around town. Grab some takeout and eat it in the car with holiday music on while admiring downtown decorations.

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It can be interesting to navigate the holidays with a new romantic partner. But it shouldn’t overwhelm you with anxiety and take the joy and fun out of the season. Be open with them and ask for their input.

If you find yourself feeling stuck in anxiety, reach out to our office or visit our Anxiety Counseling page. We’ve helped many people find their way through situations just like yours.