5 Questions To Get You & Your Partner Talking Again
Has the communication and conversation broken down between you and your significant other?
Are you sniping at each other or, worse, barely speaking? Perhaps indifference or persistent miscommunication is keeping you from really connecting.
If any of these are true, then it's well past time to jumpstart your communication! What’s important is that you understand that this can happen, and it’s normal. What it doesn’t mean is that your relationship is over, or that it will always be this way.
Communication truly is key, as you can’t understand another person’s point of view, and vice versa if you don’t share with them in a calm and respectful manner. How can you turn things around? Try asking more questions.
Curiosity is key for sparking new interest in each other and the goals of your relationship.
Ask your partner inquisitive questions to help you understand how they are feeling and what they want out of the relationship. Once you know these answers, you can work towards them together as a couple, or you’ll see if you are both on different levels, paths, or if you want different things. So, what should you be asking your partner to get you both talking again? Let’s find out.
Curiosity is key for sparking new interest in each other and the goals of your relationship.
Ask your partner inquisitive questions to help you understand how they are feeling and what they want out of the relationship. Once you know these answers, you can work towards them together as a couple, or you’ll see if you are both on different levels, paths, or if you want different things. So, what should you be asking your partner to get you both talking again? Let’s find out.
Why Is It Essential To Ask Questions In A Relationship?
You’re not a mind-reader, and neither is your partner. If you attempt to guess what your partner is thinking or feeling, then you can make assumptions, which tend to end up in crossed wires, misunderstandings, and miscommunication. Miscommunication is one of the leading causes of couple arguments and fights, so this is something you’ll want to avoid.
By asking questions instead, you can show your partner that you are interested in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, whilst making them feel valued and understood. Asking the following questions also opens up a conversation and discussion, which can help you work through problems or setbacks in your relationship.
1. What are the largest challenges in our relationship?
This question helps you both communicate and discuss some of the weaknesses you may have in the relationship. Often, when we argue, we don’t realize or understand the other person, and those issues may need to be addressed.
2. Which of my characteristics do you appreciate most?
This question can help build respect, and the person answering can let the other person know how they feel about them, and what they love about them. This creates a bond and safe environment for discussion, rather than an argument.
3. What qualities/behaviors do you think I should work on to improve our relationship?
This question follows up the last question, as your partner can let you know what they feel bothers them the most so that you can work on bettering yourself or improving your behavior to help build trust and happiness in the relationship
4. What do you want out of our relationship & life together? (ie. marriage, children, a home together, etc)
This question can help you both understand what each of you wants and desires for your lives, to see whether your aspirations align, or whether you need to be prepared to compromise in order to make the relationship work.
5. How do you think we can deepen and strengthen our relationship?
This question can open up a space for you to discuss your problems, strengths, and anything that both of you feel needs addressing for you to be able to move forward.
Try out some of these questions to get you and your partner thinking and communicating again. As always, try to be respectful, and use them in a discussion, not a heated debate so that you can rectify any problems or misunderstandings, and work through them appropriately and respectfully together. Think you might need help with this? Please read more about couples counseling and reach out soon for a consultation.