5 Ways to Grieve After a Miscarriage
One thing is certain; you can never really be prepared for this type of thing to happen. The rush of emotions that follow can be consuming and difficult to navigate. This will be a very personal and possibly complicated time moving forward. It is important to note that grief is normal, but may vary for you compared to what you have read or heard. Here are some tips for your journey.
Feel What You Are Feeling
A miscarriage can lead to feelings of guilt, depression, sadness, irritability, or numbness. You may find yourself wanting to shut down and turn off. Sometimes you may even isolate yourself from your friends, family, or spouse. The path forward, however, is through these emotions. Feel what you’re feeling in the present moment. Sit with it. You are allowed to be vulnerable despite any fear. Give those emotions names and own their role in this process.
Use Your Support System
Lean on your support system. This does not have to be a solitary process. It is for situations like this that you choose those people. While they may not understand, they will likely be able to empathize with you. Never feel guilty for this. Allow yourself to be cared for. If your friends offer to cook and bring food over, let them. When your family offers to care for your other children or a pet, let them. If your spouse offers to lend a heavier helping hand for your household tasks, let them. Accept help in any form to allow more energy to be devoted to healing.
Talk With Others
Another route that could be helpful is to find a support group. Being able to talk and process emotions or even just listen to the words of others living a similar experience can be very healing. As you heal, sharing your own story with others can unweight some of the burden you may be carrying. Healing others is a great gift you can offer to pay forward.
Create A Memorial
This one is something extremely personal to you and your family. There are many ways a lost baby can be memorialized. Select something with special meaning to you that will honor their memory. Plant a memorial tree. Find an angel memento or statue to display. Customize a piece of jewelry with some meaningful symbol, their name, or a birthstone. Another powerful idea is donating to a charity in their name.
Speak With Your Doctor
There may be hesitancy about your path forward, specifically if and when you would want to try again. Speak to your health care provider regarding medical questions you may have. Work on whatever timeline feels comfortable for you.
This is a good time to express any concerns you have. Since there was a previous miscarriage, additional testing or consults may need to happen. No matter when you decide, just be sure that you are ready physically and mentally to take that next step in trying again.
If you need additional help healing mentally or emotionally, you don’t need to do it alone. We are always here to help.