How to Feel Comfortable & Allow Yourself to be Intimate
Familiarize Yourself with Your Physical Body
You live in your body day in and day out, but how much do you really know about your physical body? Most people aren’t as familiar or as comfortable as they could be.
Daily demands require a good amount of mental processing from the time you wake up until the time you wind down for the evening. Between work/school, family, health, and life responsibilities, there’s always something that can occupy your thoughts. Taking time to shift your focus from being in your head to more in your body can be a great learning opportunity.
Understanding your physical senses and what your body is telling you will lend itself to being more comfortable with intimacy. Spend time in clothing that makes you feel empowered. Spend time being naked. If you catch yourself shifting towards judgment, acknowledge the feeling, name it, and let that go.
As you become more comfortable, explore your physicality more. Do yoga or stretching to connect with your body and its movements deeper. Look at yourself in a mirror from all angles. Take in different viewpoints that you’re not used to seeing.
Explore Your Interests
What turns you on? What do you enjoy? This answer will be different for everyone. If you’ve never explored this, you may not know the answer. Or you might not have fully figured it out just yet based on your experiences.
Take matters into your own hands and explore your sexual interests. Switch up your technique. Trial a new toy. Look at various forms of erotica, such as videos, audio, and novels. Explore different options to turn yourself on.
Let Go of Shame
Judgment and shame are big barriers to feeling comfortable and your ability to be intimate. It is ingrained in many people from an early age that sexuality and intimacy are taboo topics. You’re led to believe that there is something wrong with sexual exploration. Some families or religions instill a sense of shame or guilt around non-pure thoughts, urges, and behaviors. Others just don’t teach about healthy sexuality.
Work on identifying where any feelings of shame stem from. How does it impact your comfort level? Is that what is stopping you from feeling intimate? Being able to work through and process any negative feelings you have surrounding sexuality will help you let them go.
A lot of these negative emotions are fueled by a sense of secrecy. Be more open about what you’re feeling or experiencing with your partner or close friends. Sometimes, talking through these things can help you move past them.
Practice Mindfulness
Being centered and in the present moment can go a long way in reinforcing comfort and intimacy. It will help you be more in your body and feel those sensations rather than focus too hard on your thoughts, anxieties, or worries.
Getting in your head can quickly pause the good feelings and bring back the shame and insecurity. Practice a deep breathing technique, do a body scan, and give yourself grace. Don’t force anything that makes you uncomfortable, but also give yourself permission to explore and live in the moment.
Use Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations
When it comes to criticism, you tend to be your worst critic. It’s almost human nature to send negative feedback, and over time, you start to believe what you tell yourself. Break the cycle by incorporating positive self-talk.
Come up with positive affirmations that make you feel confident and empowered. You are perfect the way you are. You deserve to feel comfortable. Intimacy and sexuality are your rights.
If you’re interested in exploring more options to feel comfortable and be intimate, contact us for more information.