Be More Sure About “I Do”: 5 Key Topics To Discuss Before The Wedding
Getting married to your partner can be incredibly exciting and daunting at the same time. Although you are eager to start the next chapter of your lives together, there are many things that you have to plan, consider and discuss before you take the leap.
A wedding is a joyous event and occasion, and one that you should look forward to. That being said, what topics should you discuss before saying “I do”?
5 Topics To Discuss Before The Wedding
Some topics of discussion can be a little sensitive or hard to bring up when you’re dating. However, when you’re making such a big commitment, it is a good idea to talk through everything so there are no surprises or misunderstandings further down the line. Consider some important topics for you to discuss before the big day.
1. Family Planning
One of the most vital topics to discuss before marriage is how you both feel about having children and raising a family. Be willing to listen and compromise so that you are both happy.
Discuss where you stand on key issues:
Do you want children at all? How many?
When do you want to start having kids?
Are you open to fostering or adoption?
Who would be the main caregiver for your family?
What are your respective feelings about discipline and child-rearing methods?
If you have a blended family, what are the dynamics and expectations? Will you add to the number of children already present?
These are the sorts of things you should both be clear about.
2. Money, Debts & Careers
Money is one of the primary reasons couples argue. Money problems can cause a lot of tension, anxiety, and stress, so it is important that you discuss finances. Develop a clear idea of how you will split bills, pay for your home, children, pets, etc, and whether you will pool your money in a joint account or have separate accounts for bills and expenses.
It’s entirely up to you and there’s no right or wrong way to do it, but you should discuss what works for you and your partner to find a middle ground and a plan when it comes to finances.
In addition, you need to talk about any outstanding debts, bills, or expenses that could impact you both. This can help minimize arguments and disagreements in the future.
3. Personal Values
You should regularly talk about personal values, beliefs, religion, and anything else that matters to you individually. If you’re not on the same page concerning morals and values, you may struggle with long-term compatibility and how to raise potential children.
4. Deal Breakers
It is essential to discuss both of your respective deal-breakers. Let each other know what you will and won’t tolerate in your marriage, from interactions with other people to abuse or drug use. Be upfront with each other about expectations. In addition to this, talk about your life goals and what you want to achieve as a couple.
5. Handling Disagreements
One of the biggest issues for couples is miscommunication and misunderstanding. Come up with a constructive solution for handling disagreements and stick to it. Try to understand how each of you handles conflict and explain to one another what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not. This can help you further understand and accommodate one another.
Take the Next Step
There are many things to discuss with your partner before saying ‘I do’. This will help you iron out any issues, problems, or lingering resentment. You don’t have to do all of this on your own. Premarital counseling is an invaluable way to secure support, organize your thoughts, develop communication tools that will serve you for years. Ensure that you are both on the same page, ready to tackle your goals, dreams, and wishes for the future together. Read more about premarital counseling and contact us for a consultation soon.