Why Does Having an Empty Nest Feel Like Grief?

Grief Over Lost Time And Opportunities

Managing a family can be quite time-consuming, especially if both parents work. Between meal preparation, household chores, running errands, endless amounts of laundry, and work duties, it all adds up. If the kids are involved in sports, music, academics, or other extracurricular activities, it can feel like you’re always on the go. The focus can be placed heavily on all the things you need to do and not always on what you want to do.

When calendars get booked up, it can be hard to take low key family days where you just enjoy fun time with each other. Sometimes family vacations get sacrificed. Before you know it, those opportunities to create memories are done and over with. Missing out on some of the important things while they were happening and then realizing it once it was too late is ample ground for feelings of grief. The same applies to parents who missed out on opportunities due to their personal work schedules. 

Grief Over The Loss Of A Companion

This one might hit hard depending on how close you are to your children. Having them be a constant part of the household for so many years and then disappear into new living arrangements creates a big hole in the home dynamic. You no longer see them daily, and you don’t get to have casual interactions as frequently. Changing how you communicate with your child once they have moved on to the next chapter of their life may take some work. Grief over this missing constant in your life is perfectly normal. It’s a loss of a close personal relationship.

Relearning Personal Interests

In raising kids, losing yourself in their interests and hobbies is common. With the amount of time spent being their chauffeur, teacher, housekeeper, and parent, there probably wasn’t time for you to still maintain everything you used to enjoy. Part of the cycle of life. Now that they have begun the next chapter of their life, you’re faced with doing the same. You’ll always be their parent, but now you have significantly more time to return to your passions. You’re losing part of who you have been for the past 18 or so years and transitioning to a different version of it. 

Reconnecting With Your Co-parent

Once parents become empty nesters, there might just be a period where you have to relearn how to connect with your significant other. Just as you have had less time for yourself, you probably have had less time for each other. While some couples could maintain their connection throughout their children’s upbringing, some may have drifted apart and not necessarily realize it.

Now it is time to figure out what your next chapter’s start. Another hard left in this thing called life. Are you feeling the impact of your own empty nest? Unsure how or where to start in writing what comes next? Connecting with us is a great place to start.